Start dating after being widowed

This came out of the blue from my seven-year-old daughter Isabella – but then, little about our recent family life had been expected.My children lost their mother, Carolina, to breast cancer in June 2013. When she was terminally ill, we left our house, jobs and schools and moved back to the UK from abroad.

But you’ve got to believe me; all the other descriptions in the paragraph above were true. That list of ‘gotta-haves’ that my future wife HAD to ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY have? That list was driven by worldly values, not godly values.

BUT I learned that list of ‘gotta-haves’ of mine was misguided.

Not surprisingly, a study at Michigan State University discovered that people 65 and older who used the Internet to stay in touch with friends had a more than 30 percent reduction rate of depression symptoms.

In other words, no matter the age, people need people.

“Neither of us wants to live together or get married, but it’s great having male companionship again.” Lots of people who lose their husband or wife feel like it's easier to be alone and not deal with the anxiety and other pressures associated with being social. Our well-being is based largely on interactions with others.

(The amount and kind of interaction varies, but the need is inherent.) To avoid connections is to invite depression.

I discovered quite quickly that I hated the word, as it emphasised what I've lost.

Nevertheless, in the months after my wife's death, a grieving widower was exactly what I was, all the while trying to keep things together to be a good father.

About a year after Mort’s death, Mary felt ready to start taking baby steps to move on and meet new people.

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