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Spitters are quitters Let’s have a who’s better in bed contest. Literally just want a shag, why else would I have tinder and my first picture be me in a bikini I’ve got fake tits and a fake personality. Don’t ask me to “send some pics.” Take me out on a date, buy me some food, and try to get me naked at the end like a f*cking gentleman.500 characters isn’t really enough to demonstrate my wit and intelligence so just look at my banging cleavage for now. I’m here because I’m too lazy to find my soulmate and my mom said that I’m getting old You look like my next mistake Leave a message after the beep. If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place. Everytime I look at my iphone U and I are always together This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.(More bio examples on their way… ) So you can see that people can go pretty crazy with their taglines. Because when it comes to matches, your profile description (“About Me” section) isn’t really that important. For a girl to see it she needs to be interested enough by your main picture and then dig deeper – which is done by tapping the screen to see more about you.

But who’s caring, because let’s be honest, you’re gonna swipe right coz I’m fit. At first when people found out they called me a freak, now they just call me, all the time. Gonna get tattoos of dogs on my arms and then get really buff so when I a fly cutie I can be like “excuse me, but do you know where a vet is? If you’re waiting for the opportune moment to talk to me… Some of them are pretty entertaining, but does a good bio actually achieve anything at the end of the day, is it going to get you a date or hookup? And then even if she does read your bio, unless there’s something oustanding (or underwhelming) in there, it’s generally your photos that will be the major influencer.

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placed Kendrick as an observer — not yet ready to put himself and his thoughts out there for public consumption. You preached in front of 100,000 but never reached her I fuckin’ tell you, you fuckin’ failure — you ain’t no leader!

But now, we are invited inside the mind of a man whose ideals and thoughts are continually adapting and reacting to the external forces put upon him. He places a responsibility on himself to survive but to also ensure the survival of his listeners.*The annotations are located in the comments because Medium does not yet have a true ability to footnote documents.*Tracklist:1. I never liked you, forever despise you — I don’t need you!

I didn’t even notice the auto-correct decided to change “Dex” to “Sex” until she replied with, “why did you check the message, lady?!?

” I could cull a million great examples out of my own adventures with auto-correct but it’s much less embarrassing to share other people’s texting fails with you.

Here’s the problem with websites that collect funny text messages – you have to wade through a million moderately funny or obviously fake text messages to get to the real gems.

It’s even worse when the website accepts users to instantly post funny text messages because, as everyone knows, what is funny to one person may not be funny to another.

Now, I realize it’s hard to come up with clever messages, but here’s a little secret: You don’t have to! From the hundreds of Tinder profile improvement reviews and testing that we’ve done, here are the biggest mistakes you need to avoid: If you’re in doubt whether to add in a piece of information or funny comment, leave it out!

Because I have a killer list of clever Tinder openers waiting for you. A great bio may help your Tinder results slightly, but a poor bio will definitely devastate any chance of success.

At the same time, being friends with them gave me a front row seat to the horny dudes hitting on them.

Of course, this behavior isn’t restricted to women in the public eye.

We’ve put together a list of some of the best (amusing) Tinder bio’s, as discovered by r/tinder, to give you some ideas for your own profile description. Send me an emoji that represents our first date, I’ll send you an emoji that represents our future Seeking someone that looks good on the arm to take to social events!

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