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Imagine members of the MADC or Masquerade Theatre writhing around on stage, screaming in agony.

Imagine afternoon matinées of horrific sadism, torture and self-mutilation at the MFCC, or the Manoel Theatre.

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Her stepmother had her feet set on fire and the Ugly Sisters in Cinderella, who cut off their toes and heels so they could get into the slipper, had their eyes plucked out by pigeons.

When the stories were sanitised for children as “a manual for good manners”, they emphasised the virtues of thrift, loyalty and rustic simplicity. You learn all this in a former air raid shelter and beer cellar over a Celtic burial ground, in Grimm World.

Imagine – if you don’t already – Christopher Biggins being made to dance to his death on stage.

Or some ghastly soap star being put in a nail-studded barrel and rolled across stage. Traditional pantos should carry PG classifications, if they were true to their gruesome Germanic, Grimm roots.

Or some useless, C-list reality TV non-entity and Strictly Come Dancing contestant having their eyes gouged out for your entertainment. Germany is the original Panto-land, and Grimms’ Fairy Tales (Kinder und Hausmarchen ) was first published in 1812.

This is all just so everyone can live happily ever after, you understand. Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm were scholars and, originally, collected their Children’s and Household Tales to preserve and define German cultural identity at a time when their country was under the suppression of Napoleon. Originally, they were X-rated, containing violence and sex scenes.

The youngest declared, “She will be the most beautiful person in the world.” The next added, “She will have the disposition of an angel.” The third decreed, “Her every movement will be marked by gracefulness.” The fourth, “She will dance beyond compare.” The fifth, “She will sing like a nightingale.” The sixth, “She will play every instrument with consummate skill.” — Perrault, “The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood.” So the old queen packet up a great many precious items and ornaments and goblets and jewels, all made with silver and gold. — Grimm, “The Goose Girl” Step 2: The heroine leaves or loses her home.

Indeed, she gave her everything that suited a royal dowery, for she loved her child with all her heart. When the king’s daughter saw that there was no hope whatsoever of changing her father’s inclinations, she decided to run away.

Into the Dark Forest: Mapping the Fairy Tale Heroine’s Journey by Theodora Goss, Ph D The tales that feature a fairy-tale heroine’s journey: ATU 310: “Petrosinella” (Basile), “Persinette” (de la Force), “Rapunzel” (Grimm) ATU 410: “Sun, Moon, and Talia” (Basile), “The Sleeping Beauty in the Woods” (Perrault), “Briar Rose” (Grimm) ATU 425A: “East o’the Sun and West o’the Moon” (Asbjørnsen and Moe) ATU 425C: “Beauty and the Beast” (de Beaumont) ATU 450: “Brother and Sister” (Grimm) ATU 451: “The Seven Doves” (Basile), “Six Swans” (Grimm), “The Seven Ravens” (Grimm), “The Twelve Brothers” (Grimm) ATU 480: “The Fairies” (Perrault), “Mother Holle” (Grimm) ATU 510A: “The Cat Cinderella” (Basile), “Cinderella” (Perrault), “Aschenputtel” (Grimm), ATU 510A: “Vasilisa the Fair” (Afanas’ev) ATU 510B: “Donkeyskin” (Perrault), “All Fur” (Grimm), “Catskin” (Jacobs) ATU 533: “The Goose Girl” (Grimm) ATU 709: “The Young Slave” (Basile), “Snow White” (Grimm) The steps of the fairy-tale heroine’s journey as they appear in the tales: Step 1: The heroine receives gifts.

Meanwhile, the fairies could be heard presenting their gifts to the princess. Then she placed a white handkerchief underneath her finger, let three drops of blood fall on it, and gave it to her daughter.

Wild beasts darted near her at times, but they did her no harm. When night fell, she saw a little cottage and went inside.

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